Changes

Changes are inevitable. As the seasons change, the signs are obvious...currently the leaves are changing to bright orange, red, and yellow as they fall gracefully from the trees. The sun is either shining or it's raining outside as we transition from summer to fall and eventually to winter. It's gotten colder at night and it's something I take for granted every single year. I LOVE the season of fall! As we start the transition of less daylight, Mark and I are also making changes and transitioning. Here are a couple of big things that are changing for us:

1) We have decided to work with Safe Families to provide respite care for families that are struggling in one way or another. The best way to describe Safe Families is that it is similar to foster care in terms of the child(ren) live with us for an amount of time, but it differs from foster care in that the parents keep legal custody of their child(ren) the entire time! As a Safe Family, we are there to support the biological families in times of need--whether they need their child(ren) hosted by us for one night or several months while they take care of their issues--that is what we are there for. Safe Families was designed to help families that are in some sort of crisis and don't have anyone to rely on such as a good friend or family member. Here is their website if you're curious to find more information or if you're interested in becoming a Safe Families family: http://www.safe-families.org/. This won't help our adoption process go any faster, but it will keep us busy! We said that we are interested in hosting children younger than one since we have been given a crib for our baby and have a nursery mostly set up for our baby--so we just want to use this instead of finding a bed for an older child. Maybe one day this will lead to "actual" fostering children within the foster care system...who knows. Only God knows our future and so we will continue to trust in Him. We got cleared by getting background checks done, three references wrote letters (thank you to you three!!), and we just have to "pass" a home visit. We had originally had it scheduled a couple weeks ago but both Mark and I were getting sick and then life got busy--so it's now set up for next Wednesday evening. We are excited to complete this process and to love on kiddos as we wait for our future baby.

2) We have also decided that I will be going back to school!!!!! Pending any big surprises, I will be finishing my Bachelors of Science in Human Development. As most of you know, this has been a long process in the making. I went to 4 different colleges to figure out what I wanted to be--and I've always come back to some type of social work. So we shall see if this leads to me getting a Master's Degree one day, but for now I'm focusing on just finishing my Bachelor degree. I will be attending Warner Pacific in their adult degree program so I'll only be attending class one night a week for 4 hours. The great thing about this is that as we wait for our child to come (and as we do Safe Families), I can attend classes. Then, when our kid comes, I can stay at home with him/her and then "trade" parental duties with Mark as he gets of work and as I go to class for that night. It will be hard, no doubt, but I'm looking forward to getting my degree done after paying so much money for my 2.5 years at the various colleges I've already attended and to make something of the coursework I've already taken. The cohort that I'll most likely be in starts at the end of January/beginning of February so I still have a couple of months until school starts, but I'm excited!

We would love to invite you to pray for us as we make these changes. We are nervous for both of the changes but we also know that this is what God has called us to, so we boldly step out and take them on. We would also really appreciate prayer in the adoption process. I knew that it would be an emotional process, but I didn't quite realize just how hard it was going to be. We have been on the waiting list for 4 months (well, just shy of 4 months) and we love that our book has been shown to several families! However it is just an emotional roller coaster for a variety of reason. We would just really love prayer for peace and rest. Also, we are asking for prayers for birth families and their unborn child(ren). I can't imagine having to make an adoption plan for my child and how difficultly heart wrenching it is. Prayers for their peace of mind, clarity and emotions to be protected during their journey would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for the prayers in advance!!

I think that's it for now--off to enjoy the sunshine for today! :)

It's Been A While

So it's been a while since I've posted--but please don't that fool you into thinking that we are boring people. We have been busy doing nursery preparation, getting emails/phone calls with information on prospective birth parents maybe looking at our books, and then normal life things.

We have been shown to a lot of potential birth families, but so far they haven't amounted to more than just our books shown. While it is sad, frustrating, and confusing, we know that we are meant to adopt and one day our child will be in our home. We are ready for that child to be here NOW, but in the mean time, we are learning what it means to trust God on a daily basis. We are involved in a Life Group (small group Bible Study) and we recently read through Acts. One of the biggest "lessons" I learned from Acts was that God called Paul to something and even though Paul faced many challenges in getting to where he was called--God was faithful and God blessed Paul as he made it to his destination. I took away that God called us to adoption...and although it isn't easy on a day to day basis, I know that God is being faithful to His promises to us but we must trust in the Lord. There have been days lately where I wish our baby was with us right now, but I am learning that that time isn't now for us. I fully believe in this waiting time that God wants to continue to grow us, stretch us and have us continue to lean on Him in ways we have never done before. What that looks like--I am not sure other than the emotional and financial aspects of adoption. I hope it doesn't mean that we will have to go through a failed adoption (one where the birthparents make an adoption plan, chooses us to parent the child, and either the day of the child's birth or before the birth parents' rights are terminated they choose to parent...which, is TOTALLY their right, but doesn't make it easy on adoptive parents that have had to go through this as I am assuming you become attached to the birth family and to the child), but if it does mean we go through a failed adoption in order to learn more of being dependant on God, then I will do it. I am willing to do whatever  God has called us to do and I don't want to wimp out or run the other way just because it isn't easy.

But as we go through this waiting to be chosen process, I've tried to keep myself busy, which usually leads me to buy things for the baby. I'll go to a consignment store usually and buy a couple onesies here or there for $.50-$1.00.We have also gotten out to do fun things. We went to the pumpkin patch for our second annual pumpkin patch time with our niece, Mark's oldest sister and her husband. We got lucky with the weather--it poured and hailed the whole way to the pumpkin patch and starting letting up when we arrived. By the time we took the pirate ship ride (they have that instead of a hay ride) it stopped raining and the sun was out for the rest of the time we were there. Here are a few pictures from that day:

So we will leave you for now--I hope to be more frequent in posting things on the blog...but we shall see as we enter the Holiday Season!

Weekend away!

After having the situation with the prospective birth family, I was having a hard time moving on. We had had a super busy summer as well and hadn't gotten the chance to spend a lot of time together. At the end of May, my mom broke her leg which required two surgeries and she needed a lot of help--and because I don't have a paying job (I'm a house wife and help out here and there as people need it) I was able to help my mom out. I believe most of June was spent being at the hospital with my mom or at my parent's house helping my mom. July was getting ready and having our successful garage sale--but that also meant we didn't get to go away for our anniversary. Last year we were lucky enough to spend almost a week at my grandparent's beach house that they own. We loved the fact that we got to get away and it was free!! So we were hoping to make it an annual thing. However, now that Mark has a newer job aka no vacation time (well, he started back in April) and we have a lot of adoption stuff--it just wasn't feasible to make it happen this year. But we still wanted to get away...So we decided to go to Seattle!!! He was able to just flex some of his time so we were able take off Friday morning and come back on Sunday without using any vacation--YES!! Here are some pictures of our trip :)

Here we are at Kerry Park
On the roof top of Hard Rock Cafe

We rode this bad boy!!

Here we are in our hotel room with the Space Needle behind us

We had a total blast! We got to meet up with some friends that are also adopting through Bethany for Friday night dinner, then Saturday and Sunday it was just us and our schedule. We got to go down to Pike Place and eat some delicous mac & cheese, wandered around City Target, ate dinner at Hard Rock Cafe, we rode The Great Wheel (it's a ferris wheel on a pier), took a 'Ride the Duck' tour, went to Kerry Park, went up the Space Needle at night, just hung out and enjoyed spending time with each other! It was such a blessing to get away and not talk about adopton. We refrained from uttering that word (other than on Friday night with our friends) until we were back on the road on Sunday. On Sunday we stopped by the outlet mall on the way home and bought a super cute onesie that says, "I Love Daddy" and can be used for either gender. It's the first onesie I was able to get that wasn't a specific gender and mentioned 'daddy'.

I was sad for the weekend to end and wish that I could spend more time with my man. He is a very hard worker at his jobso during the week we don't get to spend much time with each other and the weekends have been jam packed with other stuff...so times where it's just us and life isn't getting in our way are priceless and I treasure them.

The very next weekend (last weekend) we had a great Friday night with some of our good friends. We decided that we had another free Saturday since it was a long weekend and so we wanted to leave town again. This time it was to Cannon Beach!! I have a favorite pizza place--it's called Pizza a' Fetta...and it's delicious!!!!! We usually go there when we go to my grandparent's beach house-but we haven't made it to the beach house in a year, so I was missing my yummy pizza. We had joked about going to the beach just for the pizza...but after joking about it for over 9 months we made it a reality! Thankfully the weather cooperated with us so we went into Seaside and played at the arcades and miniture golf and then got to stick our feet into the ocean. We then drove over to Cannon Beach and ate pizza--then drove home. It was a fun date day. I am not sure how I got so lucky--a weekend get away and then a date day all within a week of each other?!?! Oh how my soul needed that!

My love tank is filled up and I feel refreshed! I am ready to tackle life with a new attitude. I am thankful for my husband to spoil me in such amazing ways!!!! So now we are back on track of just waiting for our time to become parents--whenever God sees it fit! :)

Adoption Update

We are alive and well! We have been staying busy this summer with house cleaning, yard work, nursery preparation and getting to spend time with our family and friends.

I am sure you guys are all interested in is our adoption progress! There isn't a whole lot to tell (sort of). We are coming up on being on the waiting list for 2 months. And let me tell you--it's been a LONG two months of waiting. I am learning the art of patience and learning the art of staying busy to keep my mind off of all the waiting. Thankfully we HAVE had our book shown to several prospective birth families so the waiting hasn't been for "nothing" but waiting is HARD!!! There was one prospective birth family that made it hard. We got a phone call from our social worker saying a woman (prospective birth mom) was in labor--and for a variety of reasons was thinking of adoption for this baby. She gave birth on a Wednesday. Her and her significant other had already named this baby--so we had a name, weight/height, all of the baby's stats, etc. I knew that we were at least one family of two that our profile books were being shown...but I let myself get attached. I got things ready--we washed clothes, packed a diaper bag and did all other things baby related. I tried hard not to let my heart hope that this could be it but at the same time I couldn't help it. It's a fine balance and I'm not sure I've learned it yet. Thursday came and went and we hadn't heard anything about the family or baby. Friday came and I emailed our social worker asking for an update. Our social worker let us know that the family would like more time with the baby and would like to think more on their options. I completely get that this is their baby and until the papers are signed (if ever) that it is their baby until that moment. However, I started to view this as our child--even though we weren't anywhere close to that moment. So we had one of the longest weekends ever!! I didn't sleep much or eat much as I just wanted to know either way. I wanted to know if these parents were going to choose to parent or choose a different path for their little baby that had a name that I knew. We waited all day on Monday as well and finally got word on Tuesday that the family decided to parent. I was C.R.U.S.H.E.D!! In my HEAD, I knew that it could go either way and that the birth family had every right to make that decision. In my HEART, I wanted this to be it. I wanted this baby to be ours. I still pray for this little baby and for her parents. I pray that God is with them as they enter a new phase of parenthood and that things are going well for them. But I didn't know it would be hard for me to let go of this little baby that I hadn't met, let alone seen a picture of. I just knew her name...and kept picturing what she looked like. I felt like I had "lost" her. So I gave myself a week to grieve this little life that wasn't going to be in our life and then needed to just move on. I know that we will be okay and that this baby wasn't meant to be ours. We are on a journey of a life time and this experience has helped us grow in our adoption journey and as a couple. We are stronger than we thought we were and know we can do the same situation again if it does happen again with another family.

We are looking forward to the future and cannot wait to hope, pray and be blessed with Baby Bretl--we know he or she is out there for us!! So please continue to pray along with us as we continue on this crazy journey of adoption :) I will be hopefully posting two more blog posts this week--one on our trip to Seattle and another one yet to be decided. :)

Garage Sale and Exciting News!

Hello All,


We had our garage sale last weekend, here are two pictures from Day #2 of our garage sale before we opened:

We had great success!! On Friday, it ended up just being Mark and I setting up and running the show until about 1:30 when my aunt (Kelly's aunt) showed up to help. It was very awesome that she could be there to help out--Thanks Aunt Kappy! We sold a LOT of items on Day #1 and could not believe how busy it was. Mark and I woke up at about 3:30 am on Friday morning to start setting up and at 8 am people started shopping our sale, even though we didn't start until 9 am. So we weren't quite all set up, but people shopped anyway. It is what it is...but that means I didn't get any pictures of the first day! My parent's (Kel's parents) came and helped put things back in the garage over night-so thank you Dad! It was nice having help putting things away!

Day #2 we got up at 3:30 am as well to start setting up, and then around 8:30 am we had a lot of help. Mark's dad, Kel's friend Paula, Shawn's girlfriend Allison and then Mark and I. Mark's dad and Mark set out the furniture in the morning as I've been recovering from a shoulder injury so that was awesome we had some extra muscles--and Paula, Allison and I got to help customers as the showed up. Saturday (Day #2) wasn't nearly as busy as Friday (Day #1) but it was still busy! We didn't have nearly as many big items as we did on the first day, but we had a successful day. We sold lots of items on both days but still have half a garage full of items that didn't sell--and so we plan on donating those items to people who need them :)

In other news, WE GOT APPROVED!! Our home study hit the hands of the supervisor I believe on Friday, and by Wednesday afternoon, our home study was approved!! We thought we had several weeks between when the home study was finished to when it got approved--but apparently it doesn't...so we are now on the waiting list! However, we haven't finished our profile books which is what we need in order for birth parents to find out who we are. We have been so busy between my mom breaking her leg (and taking care of her) and our garage sale that our profile books kind of took a back burner...but now they are front and center and need to get done ASAP. We have so many emotions going through our bodies right now--we are super excited that we are approved as it means that at any given time, we could become parents...but it's scary because at any given time we can become parents with little to no warning. This weekend we are going to buy a car seat so that we are at least prepared for that--and then from there slowly build are baby accessories as we find them on sale and as needed.

We would like to thank everyone who have prayed for us and walked with us as we got to this stage in adoption--there is no way we could have gotten here without walking beside us! We also would like to thank everyone who donated so many items for our garage sale!! You helped us get that much closer to being able to adopt!!

Prayer requests:

1)For our profile books to get done within the next day or so

2)For all birth parents out there that they may feel peace and love as they make decisions for their kiddos whether that's choosing to parent or choosing to place their child for adoption.

3) For us as we start getting birth parent profiles--that we will make wise choices that God has given us and that we don't rush into anything without feeling called by God. I know there are going to be some tough decisions as to whether we want our profile book shown or not. So wisdom in that area.

Thanks y'all!!

Our Garage Sale is Coming Up!

Hello all,

We are still waiting for our homestudy to be completed which then means the next step after it's completed is getting it sent up to Seattle for approval. We emailed our social worker today and she is about 75% done writing it up but truthfully, I'm getting impatient. We are coming up on July 4th which is the time frame of when we should have gotten our approval notice...but now our homestudy won't even be seen before the committee on July 4th. So it's hard to just wait! I'm ready to stop waiting and to have our little one in our arms :) But alas, we wait. Isaiah 40: 31 has been a good Bible verse for me to meditate on... "But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like angels; the will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

In other news we have our big garage sale coming up in a week and a half! Our garage is getting filled with donations by friends and family and we are able to sort through it this week and weekend. We are so thankful to all those that have donated! We are still taking donations as well to those that would like to donate. Please email, facebook, or call/text us as we'd love to take anything off your hands. THANK YOU!!

We will write another update after our garage sale. :) Enjoy the sunshine that is supposed to come in the next few days--I know Mark and I will :)

My mom

While my mom is in her surgery today, I thought I’d write a post “dedicated” to her. Not really dedicated per say, but more just about my mom and how much I appreciate her.

For those that don’t know, my mom fell while on vacation a couple of weeks ago and broke her leg pretty badly. I wish I would have taken a picture of the CT scan to show the world (if she’d let me)—it’s pretty crazy. The crazier part is that after she fell, my dad and my mom had gone to the ER to get it looked at (because apparently it was clear to them she had broken it) but the ER people told my mom that although it was broken, it wasn’t displaced and that she wouldn’t need surgery (more on this in just a moment). So when they got back from their trip, I took my mom to the orthopedist to get it casted (it was only in a splint) and the orthopedist took new x-rays along with looking at the x-rays that were taken during the ER trip. He gave her a funny look and asked her what she was told in the ER. She repeated that she wouldn’t need surgery since it wasn’t displaced. This orthopedist was nice and said, “In my professional opinion, I’d highly like to disagree with them,” and showed us the x-rays from the ER. In those x-rays you could see it was displaced. In the x-rays that were taken at the orthopedist’s office you could see that it was still displaced…so she was told she’d need surgery and was referred to Doctor #1. Doctor #1 had her get a CT scan before she came to see him and the CT scan revealed more than just plain x-rays had. From the CT, Doctor #1 was able to see that just a plain rod with plates and screws weren’t going to fix the issue…she was going to need an external fixture to stabilize it for about a week until the swelling went down and THEN they could put in plates and screws. Here is a picture of kind of what it looks like…although move the top part to the middle of her shin and the bottom part to her ankles...I just wanted to use something less graphic for those that have sensitive stomaches...so here is this pic of something like what she had:

SOURCE: www.meditechvisualaids.com/3d-animations/single-gallery/2746503

But, Doctor #1 doesn’t do external fixtures, so she was referred to Doctor #2. Doctor #2 is a foot/leg trauma specialist and he is REALLY good at what he does. So we were able to get in to see Doctor #2 and she had her first surgery on June 1 to put the external fixture on. That was a HARD day for me. I didn’t sleep much the two nights before the surgery, so the morning of the surgery I was emotionally and physically exhausted. My dad was stressed and nervous so I was also feeding off of his energy. Both of us were trying to hold it together while we spent the better half of the day waiting for my mom to go into surgery. (She was an “add on” to the schedule because she didn’t get to see Doctor #2 before the next day’s surgery schedule was put together so we had to wait to see if there was room in the day for the surgery).

At around 4 pm she was wheeled down to the pre-op room and we waited there for her to be taken back to surgery. The whole time I was choking back tears. I was trying to trust the hospital staff (surgeons, nurses, and everyone else involved in it). My biggest fear is losing my mom. I know that no one (personally) in my life that is like, “man, I really hope that my mom dies today,” but my mom and I have come a LONG way in the last few years to where I can call her my mom AND friend. Before she was just my mom…but going to college, getting married, and growing up has really changed my perspective on the relationship with my mom—also watching my mom with her mom as her mom was struggling with Alzheimer’s really changed me too. But now that Mark and I are in the process of adopting so that he can be a dad and I can be a mom—my mom means even more to me. I don’t want to go into motherhood without my mom rallying beside me. I couldn’t imagine my mom not being there when we bring home our little one and being there to teach me the ways of motherhood. So I think watching her get wheeled back into surgery was hard. I knew that everything was out of my hands and I just had to trust the staff and mostly, trust God that things would work the way they were supposed to work out-but I wanted them to work out in my favor…with my mom having a great surgery coming out to work on healing her leg, and to have her there for the future.

The week after her first surgery, I was at a function with a lot of extended family and family friends. One of my aunts had said, “You’ve gone from your mom’s enemy to best friend in a matter of years—it’s pretty crazy.” And I don’t know if she really knew the impact of the words she said in passing, but it was an interesting statement. I’ll readily admit that in middle school I really didn’t want to be my mom’s friend. She was the one that laid the rules down (along with my dad…but I’m focusing on my mom for now). I think it was more of a parent role that she played rather than a friend role—but that worked. I believe that you need to be a parent first to your kid, then a friend—but it shouldn’t be the other way around. In high school I had a great adult mentor in my life who was my friend and I didn’t see the need to share things with my parents in the way that I shared with my mentor. It worked—but if I could go back in time, I wish that the friendship I now have with my mom would have started way sooner. Now that I am an adult and married, my viewpoint has changed. My mom and I have a lot more in common and we share life together. All that to say is I cannot imagine (nor do I want to imagine) my life without my mom for a long time! I know one day that she will pass away…but I’m hoping that will be very far away…when she is at least 110 years and has great-great grandchildren!!! :)

While my mom has had the external ficture on her leg, she hasn’t really been able to do much—she can’t really. I go over every day to wash her hair and spend time with her. It’s been nice for her to have to stay home from work as I’ve been able to spend more than normal time with her. I’m sure she is ready to go back to work—however she has a few more weeks before that can happen, so I’ll soak up the extra time while I can get it. It has been fun that I get to join her to doctor appointments, hair appointments and just the moments I sit on the couch and hang out with her.

Today my mom is having her second surgery. She is getting the external fixture taken off and the plates and screws put in her leg. I wasn’t quite as nervous for this surgery as I was for the first only because we just went through this 1.5 weeks ago, but it’s still the underlying fear of losing my mom too early. It’s my MOM and I only have one of them and I’m protective of her…hear my ROAR! :)

I am so thankful that I have a great mom who works hard at what she does and has allowed me to become her friend. She is someone I can call when I’m upset or when something really happy happens and everything in between. Sometimes I’m sure I call her too much—but she takes it well.

That’s all for today…I just wanted to put it out there that I have a great mom and I’m thankful that I get to spend the rest of my life being friends with her :)

Interview #3 & #4

Sorry it's been a while since I've updated the blog! Both interview #3 and #4 came and went without much to them. The third interview our social worker came to our house for literally 15 minutes for us to sign a couple of forms... which kind of was sucky because I had the house clean head to toe for the second time at that point only for her to be at our kitchen table for 15 minutes...oh well, it was nice to have a clean house :) Then the 4th interview came and that was our final interview where C (our social worker) did a walk through of our house to make sure we had everything we needed for optimum safety in our house. There are a few things we'll eventually need to take care of (such as locking the cleaning products that are under the sinks)...but we currently have carbon monoxide dectors on every floor of the house as well as in the future nursery and in our bedroom. We also have 2 fire extinguishers and a fire escape ladder in the future nursery. We are as safety prepared as we can be and now just waiting for C to write up the home study. If everything goes according to plan, we will be on the waiting list on or before July 4!! It's so exciting knowing that we are almost done with this step and will just be waiting to be picked by expectant birth parents!!

We are working on our big garage sale July 13-15. Our hope is to raise $1,000 OR MORE during this garage sale that will go directly towards our adoption costs...so if any of you have items to donate, want to help out with the garage sale, or even come on those dates, we would love it! We need to get more items to sell in order to make getting $1,000 even possible. Ideally, we'd love to get 10% of our total adoption costs, so we would need to get $2,800...but I think we would be completely floored if we got $1,000 :) We'd love it if you partnered with us to reach our goal!

That's it for now. We are currently trying to figure out how to pay for our adoption so fundraisers, grants, and loans are currently being researched. We would love it if we could earn/get enough money without having to get a loan, but we will do it if that's what it comes down...since we are on our way of getting out of debt, it's hard to commit to going into more debt--but we will gladly do it if it means we get to have our little one home with us one day!

We hope that you are all having a great weekend!

Interview #2

Our interview #2 was a success!! Like I mentioned in the previous post, our house was probably the cleanest it has ever been!! However, our social worker only came right over and we sat at the table for the interview--all that hard work for nothing-bummer!! But it was good to get through one more step! So this interview was our one-on-one interview where we both filled out more paper work seperately and then Mark left the house for about an hour and when my portion was done, he came back and then I left for his portion. Thankfully it was a beautiful day so on the parts where we needed to leave the house, we each took our yellow lab for a walk.

The interview itself really wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be-praise God!! I was so stinkin' nervous for it I couldn't sleep a couple days before it! And since Mark went second, a lot of the times when Mark would say something, C (our social worker) would say, "glad you and Kelly are on the same page" or "yes, that was what Kelly was saying too!" So it really does seem like Mark and I are in a great marriage groove and are on the same page and gave similar answers-which sounds funny, but that's actually what I was nervous about. We have been married for almost 4 years (yay!!!) but Mark isn't the best at remembering all the "facts" (bless his heart because he does listen and tries to remember) so I was really anxious that our stories would be told differently and wouldn't match up--but they did!! :)

Our next interview is on May 2nd and this is where she will be inspecting our home to make sure we have a room designated for the baby, smoke detectors, a fire extinguisher in the kitchen, and a few other things. I'm not really "nervous" for this one persay, but will still clean like a mad woman since she will be all over our house "judging" it and making sure it will be a good place for a baby to be part of our family. Thankfully I have the best friend in the whole world who will come over and help me clean the day before!! She seriously rocks!

So after our home inspection I guess we have one more interview--not sure what the 4th one will entail--I think it was something about us reading what she has written for our home study? Not sure!!

We do have a few prayer requests:
--That above all, God is glorified in this process
--Please be praying for all those affected in the adoption process (ie birth parents, adopted kiddos, adoptive parents)
-for the birth parentswho either are considering placing their child(ren) for adoption or has placed their children for adoption
-for those who have been placed for adoption or are in that place that Jesus heals the loss that takes part in adoption
-for adoptive parents in all walks of the adoption (either considering it, are in their home home study or have already adopted) that they may know that they aren't alone, adopting is hard but worth it, and that they may empower their kids to not be ashamed of being adopted
--for our social worker, C, that she is able to portray us in a truthful manner, but also with our best foot put forward and that she helps us get approved if that's what the Lord wants
--And lastly, for us. Mostly for our finances at this point as we just wrote a check for our home study that pretty much clears out our adoption savings...we are still $26,000 (and some change) short of being completely funded in our adoption. That number is mighty scary because we have no idea how that money is going to come about--and while we could totally get a loan, we would prefer not to as we are trying to get out of debt instead of into more of it so we can further the kingdom-and believe God wants us to get that money some way, some how. So prayers as we figure out creative ways to make that work and for those who would love to help us out :)

Thanks for following us on this journey we call adoption :)

Interview #2 Coming Up

We hope everyone had a great Easter weekend and are able to enjoy the sunshine (if you've been lucky enough to have any). Tomorrow marks our second home study interview. Our social worker is coming to our house for the first time which makes me SUPER nervous! It's crazy to think that this is kind of our halfway mark in our interview process, it could even be our second to last interview. It's really hard to know how our social worker wants to do things. Some social workers will only have 3 and others will have 4--it is really social worker dependant.

We have been working on cleaning our house like it's never been cleaned before. It's funny though--when I say we need to clean our house and do some "deep cleaning" I've gotten interesting responses from people such as, "oh, you're house is clean enough" and "it won't matter to the social worker that your oven is clean or not". Not that those are INTERESTING, but really, it for me, the root of wanting our house super clean, even deep cleaned, is a control issue. We don't get to control how our baby comes into this world (ie being a biological baby), we don't even get to control when they come (the birthmom chooses us and she delievers the baby when it's time) and we don't control a lot of other things--so by me cleaning, I can control how clean our house looks. It may not make a difference to the social worker knowing that our oven has been cleaned for the second time in a month, but it makes me feel better to present our house in its cleanest state. Luckily my best friend came over and helped me clean all day yesterday and we were able to bust out some organization too! Tonight will be finishing cleaning and tomorrow morning, before our social worker comes, will be last minute straigtening and cleaning.

I am more nervous for this interview than I was for the first one, because this one is even more personal. They ask you questions that know one should really know except your spouse--yet somehow, it affects getting a baby or not??

This adoption process is crazy. It's a whirlwind I tell ya!! So we are just finishing cleaning tonight and then if there is time, I may even hop online and start our profile book. There is a gal that I met through our agency that is also adopting and they have to turn their books in before than can be approved...so if we really only have 1 or 2 more interviews left, then we need to get on that!! We also need to be putting more time into our birth mother/father letters as those need to be ready to go with our books. EEEKK! It's all becoming that much more real! We are excited to see where God is leading us and taking us. It's such a great season of life to be in when we have to be dependant upon Him. He is so great and is totally blessing us!

I'll leave you with a question--for our profile books, we have to make a "scrapbook" of sorts--but we are doing ours online because I am not crafy it my life depended on it (although I do love it). So we are looking into using mypublisher, mixbook, shutterfly, or whatever else is out there. What's your favorite to use and why? (you can answer this even if you're not adopting/have adopted...I'm sure many of you have used these services for other things than a profile book :) )

OH!! Something unrelated to adoption--my parents have been down in Haiti for a week (as of today) and come back tomorrow. They have been with 19 other people training police officers and security guards and have had such a blessed time. I was able to talk to my dad briefly last night and he said that this is one of the best teams he has been able to lead and that God is doing amazing things down there. I cannot wait to have them back in the States where I can chat more with them but if you could be saying a prayer for them for safe travels home-thanks!!

Enjoy the sunny weekend--we are supposed to hit 80 on Sunday!! WAHOO!!

Our First Interview!!

Yesterday we had our very first home study interview. I was a nervous and excited wreck! For me, this made it feel all that more real that we are adopting!! I know I've talked about it for months, researched every agency in our state, talked and prayed more about adoption, applied to Bethany, then did the training in Seattle followed by tons of paperwork--but walking into the Bethany office knowing it's our first interview just made it all real.

We are so thankful to all those that prayed and thought about us yesterday--the prayers could be felt! When we made it into our social worker's office, our nerves were calmed and the interview went well (in our opinion). This was the first time meeting this social worker as our original social worker changed positions within the agency, so I think that also led to me (Kelly) being more nervous. Our social worker, C, is super nice and has a really cool personality and love for the Lord and love for adoptions. She said that this interview was about getting to know us--and it was just that. She asked us some questions such as, "what are your goals for your family?" and "what does a typical day look like your lives?" and "describe the other person/what are the other person's strengths?" and "what are your disciplining styles?" and other questions about us. We liked that some questions were easy and others made us think a little more, but were still answerable. We didn't feel "tricked" or anything like that and we both feel she really does have our best interest at heart--which is something I KNEW, but it wasn't something I FELT until yesterday.

So what's next? Well, we have our one on one interviews coming up where she will come to our house and interview us one at a time and the other one of us will have to leave the house and then switch. That's the next nervous thing for me--because I like to always know what Mark is talking about/what he's going to say...not that we have anything to hide, but there is stil that scary piece of the unlnown. Then we will have one, maybe two more interviews after that. Once C (our social worker) feels like she has asked all the questions she needs and knows us more personally than anyone else does, she will write our home study. So the process from interview one to when she writes our actual home study is about 6 weeks. After it's written, we will get the chance to read it and make sure we approve what is written, then the home study gets sent to the panel for review and either approval or denial. That could also take about 6 weeks. So in about 12 weeks (hopefully sooner!) we could be on the waiting list and waiting for a baby!! Now THAT is the most exciting and nervous statement I've made in pretty much my whole life! I cannot wait to be a mom to a little baby to hold and love forever! It's so nice to have a time line also to know when our profile books and dear birthfather and dear birthmother letters need to be written and "published" with something like mix book or snapfish.

So there you have it. Yesterday was great, next interviews in a week or two, and we have a timeline!! :)

Struggles with Infertility

When I started this blog, I only planned on talking about the "happy" moments of our adoption--and not any of the tough stuff...because let's be honest, it's so much easier putting on a facade of how GREAT adoption is and how we haven't struggled one bit in every step of the way. And then I am challenged by God that the facade isn't real and is doing a disservice to myself and to the few that read our blog. Adoption is GREAT but there is hard stuff that goes along with it. Being on the road to parenthood is AMAZING, but it doesn't come with it's share of hardships. A little about our story...

We came to the conclusion to adopt because we found out in December 2010 that we were unable to concieve naturally. It was devestating for us. We both have always wanted to be parents and if I'm honest with myself, I wanted to get pregnant pretty much right after the honeymoon. I love babies and kids of all ages-so the thought of having a large family was very exciting to me, but it also meant that we "needed to start right away." When it didn't happen I wasn't too concerned because I kept trusting God that in His time it'd all happen. But in Sepetember of 2010 I was having some health issues so I was going to the doctor, who also casually mentioned that we should both get tested for fertility. We did and that's when a few months later we found out the heart wrenching news. We called our immediate family that evening to let them know and their responses were all so different. But since then, we've also had some interesting responses from people around us...more on that later. In January 2011 we researched fertility options and adoption options and liked both of them but didn't feel ready to dive into anything yet. Several months went by and decided to continue to pray about our options and still wrestled with what was best for our first child. Ultimately, we have chosen adoption for this child but we have no idea how our next child(ren) will come into this world or if there will even be another one after this one.

But today, I really wanted to talk about infertility. Since we have faced this, we have really seen a wide array of how people deal with infertility. It's been difficult for us to watch others get pregnant for the first, second, third and forth time...we ARE happy for them but it doesn't make it any less hard. I came across this website called www.resolve.org and it's the National Infertility Association. I have been getting their newsletters every month and back in November 2011, I got this newsletter that spoke right to my heart. I haven't wanted to share it with people in fear of y'all thinking I am not approachable or I am too sensitive. But really, I'd love to bring awareness to infertility and make it less of a taboo subject to talk about. Their website has tons of resources and other articles to read if you're interested--and I'd highly recommend you checking out their website and reading more!! Below, I'm going to copy and past the November newsletter found here: http://www.resolve.org/support-and-services/for-family--friends/infertility-etiquette.html. I bolded parts that really hit home for me and would love for people to better understand.

"Infertility Etiquette:

Chances are, you know someone who is struggling with infertility. More than seven million people of childbearing age in the United States experience infertility. Yet, as a society, we are woefully uninformed about how to best provide emotional support for our loved ones during this painful time.

Infertility is, indeed, a very painful struggle. The pain is similar to the grief over losing a loved one, but it is unique because it is a recurring grief. When a loved one dies, he isn't coming back. There is no hope that he will come back from the dead. You must work through the stages of grief, accept that you will never see this person again, and move on with your life.

The grief of infertility is not so cut and dry. Infertile people grieve the loss of the baby that they may never know. They grieve the loss of that baby who would have had mommy's nose and daddy's eyes. But, each month, there is the hope that maybe that baby will be conceived after all. No matter how hard they try to prepare themselves for bad news, they still hope that this month will be different. Then, the bad news comes again, and the grief washes over the infertile couple anew. This process happens month after month, year after year. It is like having a deep cut that keeps getting opened right when it starts to heal.

As the couple moves into infertility treatments, the pain increases while the bank account depletes. The tests are invasive and embarrassing to both parties, and you feel like the doctor has taken over your bedroom. And for all of this discomfort, you pay a lot of money.

A couple will eventually resolve the infertility problem in one of three ways:

They will eventually conceive a baby.
They will stop the infertility treatments and choose to live without children.
They will find an alternative way to parent, such as by adopting a child or becoming a foster parent.
Reaching a resolution can take years, so your infertile loved ones need your emotional support during this journey. Most people don't know what to say, so they wind up saying the wrong thing, which only makes the journey so much harder for their loved ones. Knowing what not to say is half of the battle to providing support.

Don't Tell Them to Relax
Everyone knows someone who had trouble conceiving but then finally became pregnant once she "relaxed." Couples who are able to conceive after a few months of "relaxing" are not infertile. By definition, a couple is not diagnosed as "infertile" until they have tried unsuccessfully to become pregnant for a full year. In fact, most infertility specialists will not treat a couple for infertility until they have tried to become pregnant for a year. This year weeds out the people who aren't infertile but just need to "relax." Those that remain are truly infertile.

Comments such as "just relax" or "try going on a cruise" create even more stress for the infertile couple, particularly the woman. The woman feels like she is doing something wrong when, in fact, there is a good chance that there is a physical problem preventing her from becoming pregnant.

These comments can also reach the point of absurdity. As a couple, my husband and I underwent two surgeries, numerous inseminations, hormone treatments, and four years of poking and prodding by doctors. Yet, people still continued to say things like, "If you just relaxed on a cruise . . ." Infertility is a diagnosable medical problem that must be treated by a doctor, and even with treatment, many couples will NEVER successfully conceive a child. Relaxation itself does not cure medical infertility.

Don't Minimize the Problem
Failure to conceive a baby is a very painful journey. Infertile couples are surrounded by families with children. These couples watch their friends give birth to two or three children, and they watch those children grow while the couple goes home to the silence of an empty house. These couples see all of the joy that a child brings into someone's life, and they feel the emptiness of not being able to experience the same joy.

Comments like, "Just enjoy being able to sleep late . . . .travel . . etc.," do not offer comfort. Instead, these comments make infertile people feel like you are minimizing their pain. You wouldn't tell somebody whose parent just died to be thankful that he no longer has to buy Father's Day or Mother's Day cards. Losing that one obligation doesn't even begin to compensate for the incredible loss of losing a parent. In the same vein, being able to sleep late or travel does not provide comfort to somebody who desperately wants a child.

Don't Say There Are Worse Things That Could Happen
Along the same lines, don't tell your friend that there are worse things that she could be going through. Who is the final authority on what is the "worst" thing that could happen to someone? Is it going through a divorce? Watching a loved one die? Getting raped? Losing a job?

Different people react to different life experiences in different ways. To someone who has trained his whole life for the Olympics, the "worst" thing might be experiencing an injury the week before the event. To someone who has walked away from her career to become a stay-at-home wife for 40 years, watching her husband leave her for a younger woman might be the "worst" thing. And, to a woman whose sole goal in life has been to love and nurture a child, infertility may indeed be the "worst" thing that could happen.

People wouldn't dream of telling someone whose parent just died, "It could be worse: both of your parents could be dead." Such a comment would be considered cruel rather than comforting. In the same vein, don't tell your friend that she could be going through worse things than infertility.

Don't Say They Aren't Meant to Be Parents
One of the cruelest things anyone ever said to me is, "Maybe God doesn't intend for you to be a mother." How incredibly insensitive to imply that I would be such a bad mother that God felt the need to divinely sterilize me. If God were in the business of divinely sterilizing women, don't you think he would prevent the pregnancies that end in abortions? Or wouldn't he sterilize the women who wind up neglecting and abusing their children? Even if you aren't religious, the "maybe it's not meant to be" comments are not comforting. Infertility is a medical condition, not a punishment from God or Mother Nature.

Don't Ask Why They Aren't Trying IVF
In vitro fertilization (IVF) is a method in which the woman harvests multiple eggs, which are then combined with the man's sperm in a petri dish. This is the method that can produce multiple births. People frequently ask, "Why don't you just try IVF?" in the same casual tone they would use to ask, "Why don't you try shopping at another store?"

Don't Be Crude
It is appalling that I even have to include this paragraph, but some of you need to hear this-Don't make crude jokes about your friend's vulnerable position. Crude comments like "I'll donate the sperm" or "Make sure the doctor uses your sperm for the insemination" are not funny, and they only irritate your friends.

Don't Complain About Your Pregnancy
This message is for pregnant women-Just being around you is painful for your infertile friends. Seeing your belly grow is a constant reminder of what your infertile friend cannot have. Unless an infertile women plans to spend her life in a cave, she has to find a way to interact with pregnant women. However, there are things you can do as her friend to make it easier.

The number one rule is DON'T COMPLAIN ABOUT YOUR PREGNANCY. I understand from my friends that, when you are pregnant, your hormones are going crazy and you experience a lot of discomfort, such as queasiness, stretch marks, and fatigue. You have every right to vent about the discomforts to any one else in your life, but don't put your infertile friend in the position of comforting you.

Your infertile friend would give anything to experience the discomforts you are enduring because those discomforts come from a baby growing inside of you. When I heard a pregnant woman complain about morning sickness, I would think, "I'd gladly throw up for nine straight months if it meant I could have a baby." When a pregnant woman would complain about her weight gain, I would think, "I would cut off my arm if I could be in your shoes."

I managed to go to baby showers and hospitals to welcome my friends' new babies, but it was hard. Without exception, it was hard. Stay sensitive to your infertile friend's emotions, and give her the leeway that she needs to be happy for you while she cries for herself. If she can't bring herself to hold your new baby, give her time. She isn't rejecting you or your new baby; she is just trying to work her way through her pain to show sincere joy for you. The fact that she is willing to endure such pain in order to celebrate your new baby with you speaks volumes about how much your friendship means to her.

Don't Treat Them Like They Are Ignorant
For some reason, some people seem to think that infertility causes a person to become unrealistic about the responsibilities of parenthood. I don't follow the logic, but several people told me that I wouldn't ache for a baby so much if I appreciated how much responsibility was involved in parenting.

Let's face it-no one can fully appreciate the responsibilities involved in parenting until they are, themselves, parents. That is true whether you successfully conceived after one month or after 10 years. The length of time you spend waiting for that baby does not factor in to your appreciation of responsibility. If anything, people who have been trying to become pregnant longer have had more time to think about those responsibilities. They have also probably been around lots of babies as their friends started their families.

Perhaps part of what fuels this perception is that infertile couples have a longer time to "dream" about what being a parent will be like. Like every other couple, we have our fantasies-my child will sleep through the night, would never have a tantrum in public, and will always eat his vegetables. Let us have our fantasies. Those fantasies are some of the few parent-to-be perks that we have-let us have them. You can give us your knowing looks when we discover the truth later.

Don't Gossip About Your Friend's Condition
Infertility treatments are very private and embarrassing, which is why many couples choose to undergo these treatments in secret. Men especially are very sensitive to letting people know about infertility testing, such as sperm counts. Gossiping about infertility is not usually done in a malicious manner. The gossipers are usually well-meaning people who are only trying to find out more about infertility so they can help their loved ones.

Regardless of why you are sharing this information with someone else, it hurts and embarrasses your friend to find out that Madge the bank teller knows what your husband's sperm count is and when your next period is expected. Infertility is something that should be kept as private as your friend wants to keep it. Respect your friend's privacy, and don't share any information that your friend hasn't authorized.

Don't Push Adoption (Yet)
Adoption is a wonderful way for infertile people to become parents. (As an adoptive parent, I can fully vouch for this!!) However, the couple needs to work through many issues before they will be ready to make an adoption decision. Before they can make the decision to love a "stranger's baby," they must first grieve the loss of that baby with Daddy's eyes and Mommy's nose. Adoption social workers recognize the importance of the grieving process. When my husband and I went for our initial adoption interview, we expected the first question to be, "Why do you want to adopt a baby?" Instead, the question was, "Have you grieved the loss of your biological child yet?" Our social worker emphasized how important it is to shut one door before you open another.

You do, indeed, need to grieve this loss before you are ready to start the adoption process. The adoption process is very long and expensive, and it is not an easy road. So, the couple needs to be very sure that they can let go of the hope of a biological child and that they can love an adopted baby. This takes time, and some couples are never able to reach this point. If your friend cannot love a baby that isn't her "own," then adoption isn't the right decision for her, and it is certainly not what is best for the baby.

Mentioning adoption in passing can be a comfort to some couples. (The only words that ever offered me comfort were from my sister, who said, "Whether through pregnancy or adoption, you will be a mother one day.") However, "pushing" the issue can frustrate your friend. So, mention the idea in passing if it seems appropriate, and then drop it. When your friend is ready to talk about adoption, she will raise the issue herself.

So, what can you say to your infertile friends? Unless you say "I am giving you this baby," there is nothing you can say that will erase their pain. So, take that pressure off of yourself. It isn't your job to erase their pain, but there is a lot you can do to lesson the load. Here are a few ideas.

Let Them Know That You Care
The best thing you can do is let your infertile friends know that you care. Send them cards. Let them cry on your shoulder. If they are religious, let them know you are praying for them. Offer the same support you would offer a friend who has lost a loved one. Just knowing they can count on you to be there for them lightens the load and lets them know that they aren't going through this alone.

Remember Them on Mother's Day
With all of the activity on Mother's Day, people tend to forget about women who cannot become mothers. Mother's Day is an incredibly painful time for infertile women. You cannot get away from it-There are ads on the TV, posters at the stores, church sermons devoted to celebrating motherhood, and all of the plans for celebrating with your own mother and mother-in-law.

Mother's Day is an important celebration and one that I relish now that I am a mother. However, it was very painful while I was waiting for my baby. Remember your infertile friends on Mother's Day, and send them a card to let them know you are thinking of them. They will appreciate knowing that you haven't "forgotten" them.

Support Their Decision to Stop Treatments
No couple can endure infertility treatments forever. At some point, they will stop. This is an agonizing decision to make, and it involves even more grief. Even if the couple chooses to adopt a baby, they must still first grieve the loss of that baby who would have had mommy's nose and daddy's eyes.
Once the couple has made the decision to stop treatments, support their decision. Don't encourage them to try again, and don't discourage them from adopting, if that is their choice. Once the couple has reached resolution (whether to live without children, adopt a child, or become foster parents), they can finally put that chapter of their lives behind them. Don't try to open that chapter again."

With all of that to say, we are just wanting to be open with our lives. We understand that everyone (including us) sometimes says things that we don't think about before we say them. Some of the people we know truly just don't know what to say to us and that's ok! We still love you guys. We want our friends and family to know some of the pain it has taken to get to the point where we are at and to know that adoption by no means is a "last ditch effort." It is thought about and planned for. Before we found out we were unable to concieve, we had always talked about adopting at least one of our children. We never "planned" on it being our first child--but God has a funny sense of humor :) We also want others to be made aware of infertility--because the chances are, you know many couples that are struggling with it even if they haven't told you.

Still Plugging Away

Where has the time gone?? I feel as though time is just flying by--which is great in some ways but also so weird in other ways.

March 13 we officially sent in all of our paper work to the agency that was in our home study. We were still waiting on a couple of things to get turned in to the agency by our doctor and an employee reference form but that was out of our control. So, as in the adoption world, we waited and waited for that to get all turned and to the agency. A couple weeks later we found out that our social worker was switching job titles and going into more of the counseling side of Bethany. It was disappointing to us because we really liked her--but after a few days of being sad we decided it must be for the best and will just continue to take steps of faith and trust God. We also found out who our new social worker was going to be.

THEN, one week later (this past Monday), Mark called me from work and told me he had been laid off. He worked for a small start up company in an industry that was completely client contract based. So if there were lots of clients, his work would hire more employees, and if there were less clients, his work laid of employees. Mark had made it through quite a number of rounds without even coming close to getting laid off--but he happened to be on a contract job that didn't have a paying client as it was an internal project. So they let him and about 12 other employees go. To be honest, I haven't really had a freak out moment yet. I am more scared that it'll affect (or is it effect...oh gosh, I'm too tired to care) our adoption. The total God moment in this is that the week before he was laid off, he had an interview with one of the companies he has wanted to work with for a while. He obviously blew the socks off of this company because THEY OFFERED HIM A POSITION!!! He has to pass a background check first (which we are not concerned about) before he can start, but his official start date is April 9. So we sent an email to our social worker letting her know of the changes and are just praying we can still move forward in our adoption.

Prior to Mark getting laid off, we found out that our new social worker wants to start the interview process of the home study!! It's pretty crazy to think that once we complete the interviews and make our birth parent books--we could get picked by a birth family to adopt their baby!!! So we will continue to trust God that He has perfect timing and that we can start the interviews next week while both Mark and I have completely open schedules.

So we would love for you to join us in prayer for a smooth transition and that Mark's job change doesn't affect/effect our adoption. Also, please pray for our future birth parents, our future baby and for the other families in the adoption process.

How to be the Village

Mark and I are still working towards our home study packet. Mark's fingerprints got rejected so he has to get new ones this week and get them re-submitted this week. We also had our CPR/First Aid certification this past weekend so we are all ready for that! Next up: getting our physicals done at the end of February and then we should be able to submit our whole packet. This phase has taken us longer than we wanted it to, but we don't feel rushed or panicked that it has taken us longer--we feel at peace with taking our time.

While you wait for a TRUE update, I highly encourage you to read this blog post from someone in the blogosphere world: http://jenhatmaker.com/blog/2011/11/02/how-to-be-the-village. This lady, Jen Hatmaker has said everything I've felt in a hilarious way. We really would love for all of you to be the village for us during this time of adoption and afterwards--because really, it DOES take a village to raise a child. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this blog :)

Well, that's it for now--hope you all have a great evening!!

Working Through the Home study

We haven't blogged for a couple of weeks as we took a small break from our home study packet. We have a couple of things we need to complete before we can send our packet in--but three of the things are dependant on outside resources. So tomorrow we get our TB test (but we had to wait for our appointment so we had to wait for that "resource"). In two weekends we are taking our CPR/First aid for infant class (but had to wait to take it for when there was a class opening). And our final check list item is getting our physical, however, our doctor office doesn't have an opening until APRIL!! So we are hoping tomorrow we can show them what the physical consists of and they can squeeze us into some random appointment time :) Then just a few more worksheets to work on and we'll be DONE with the packet itself. After our packet has been recieved, we will have our interviews that we will need to set up with our social worker. If you can all be praying for our birth mother (that may or may not be working with Bethany/even be pregnant at this point) right now that she is feeling loved and is working through her adoption plan and that God is protecting her--that'd be great!

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So as we work through our packet, I wanted to share with you something that was read to us while we were at our training.

It is called, "Different Trips to the Same Place: A Story about achieving parenthood through adoption vs conception" by Diane Armitage, an adoptive mother.

When you decide you want to have a baby, it’s like planning a trip to Australia. You’ve heard it’s a wonderful place, you’ve read many guidebooks, and you feel certain you’re ready to go. Everyone you know has traveled there by plane. They say it can be a turbulent flight with occasional rough landings, but you can look forward to being pampered during the trip.

So, you go to the airport and ask the ticket agent for a ticket to Australia. All around you, excited people are boarding planes for Australia. It seems there is no seat for you; you’ll have to wait for the next flight. Impatient, but still anticipating a wonderful trip, you wait…and…wait…and wait. Flights to Australia continue to come and go. People say silly things like, “Relax. You’ll get a flight soon.” Other people actually get on a plane and then cancel their trip, to which you cry, “It’s not fair!”

After a long time, the ticket agent tells you, “I’m sorry, we’re not going to be able to get you on a plane to Australia. Perhaps you should think about going by boat.”

“By BOAT?!?” you say. “Going by boat will take a very long time, and it costs a great deal of money. Besides, I really had my heart set on going by plane.” So you go home and think about not going to Australia at all. You wonder if Australia will be as beautiful if you approach it by sea rather than air. But you have long dreamed of this wonderful place, and finally you decide you travel by boat.

It is a long trip, many months over rough seas. No one pampers you. You wonder if you will ever see Australia. Meanwhile, your friends have flown back and forth to Australia two or more times, marveling about each trip.

Then one glorious day, the boat docks in Australia. It is more exquisite than you ever imagined, and the beauty is magnified by your long days at sea. You have made many wonderful friends during your voyage, and you find yourself comparing stories with other people who also traveled by sea rather than air.

Other people continue to fly to Australia as often as they like, but you are only able to travel only once, perhaps twice. Some people still say things like, “Oh, be glad you didn’t fly. My flight was horrible. Traveling by sea is so easy.”

You will always wonder what it would have been like to fly to Australia. Still, you know God has blessed you with a special appreciation of Australia, and the beauty of Australia is not in the way you get there, but in the place itself.
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We hope you enjoyed the story! I will post more another time on why I love this story :)

This weekend rocked!

This past weekend, Mark and I had the privilege of going to Seattle to complete our training and orientation! We had a great weekend of being able to hit the town of Seattle Friday evening--which included going to Pike Place Market and Hard Rock Cafe. We LOVE Hard Rock Cafe and visit every one in every state we go that has it. So it was fun to accomplish adoption items as well as sneak in a date night in there :) We also got to stay in a great hotel at the base of the Space Needle. We left our blinds open so Saturday morning we woke up to the Space Needle-It was simply amazing!!

AND, to top it all off, we had a great time at our training and orientation. For the first time in this whole process, I didn't feel alone anymore!! We were in a room of people who understood where we are at emotionally and what it is like to be "paper pregnant". That's kind of a joke among adoptive families since we are "concieving" a baby out of paper (all of our home study paperwork and other documents that are needed) and then you stay "paper pregnant" until your baby arrives home with you...so sometimes I feel like I even have the hormones of a pregnant lady :) I met some great people and finally have some people to talk to through this process. Don't get me wrong--our family and friends have been very supportive in the adoption process, but it is different to have someone who KNOWS what it's like to be in our shoes.

We now are just waiting on getting our homestudy packet in the mail--I was hoping it'd be waiting for us when we got home from our weekend trip, but sadly it wasn't. So we will wait for that to come and then get hauling on it. I asked what the fastest time someone completed the packet is--and I was told two weekends...so my goal is to get it done in a month--because yes, I do want to get it done quickly, but I also want to take it seriously because this is for our child :) We get to turn in our fingerprints in on Tuesday as well...so now we just get to wait for the FBI to process that too--which takes about 8 weeks.

This past weekend, we found out that during the homestudy process and especially after the packet is turned in, we really need to get our nursery in order--which seems weird to me. I mean, I know it's because at any point after the homestudy is approved we could get "the call" telling us that our baby has been born and we were chosen, but it's hard to wrap my mind around it all. I was talking with a few of the other adoptive moms saying that it's to prepare for a baby that isn't growing inside of me, I may not know the gender (especially when we are making the nursery), or when they'll be born--so we'll be going gender neutral for the nursery and for a lot of the clothes. We plan on buying a crib, changing table, dresser, a few outfits, a couple of boxes of diapers, formula, bottles and pacifiers probably until our baby comes whenever that is.

We are excited to see what God has in store for us in the phase of life and we will continue to wait patiently to hold our little one for whenever God's plan comes to be.

We are moving forward!!

We got a packet in the mail that had our contract with Bethany Christian Services (BCS) and our fingerprint/background check forms. We are so excited to be moving forward and making a little bit of progress towards having our future child with us in our home.

In this packet, we also found out that we need to be at a training up in Seattle this coming weekend--so we booked our hotel and will have a little night out on the town as we get to work towards adoption--YAY! And, the domestic coordinator up in Seattle was nice enough to let us do our orientation on Friday so we get to get two things out of the way, instead of spending two different Saturdays doing the training on day and the orientation on the other day. Thanks to the coordinator for doing this!!

And this morning, Mark and I went to get our fingerprints taken! It was a weird feeling going in to get it done. I kept saying, "we are doing this to work towards adoption." OR "We are doing this for our adoption" just so everyone didn't think we were getting booked into the jail for something. Haha!!

We are excited that we can be pro-active in this stage of the adoption--because from all of the adoption blogs I've read, waiting is the HARDEST because there isn't much you can do once you've turned in all your paperwork and your homestudy is approved, the only thing you're waiting on is for a birthmother to choose you and then for the baby to be born. There isn't much you can do while you wait besides sort of prepare your home for a baby whom you don't when he/she will arrive--you can be waiting for one day after your approved home study, or you can be waiting for years. So I am glad that I am in the stage where I can check things off and move forward at this time :)

Well, off to clean the house, but just wanted to update people as we had some info.