It's Been A While

So it's been a while since I've posted--but please don't that fool you into thinking that we are boring people. We have been busy doing nursery preparation, getting emails/phone calls with information on prospective birth parents maybe looking at our books, and then normal life things.

We have been shown to a lot of potential birth families, but so far they haven't amounted to more than just our books shown. While it is sad, frustrating, and confusing, we know that we are meant to adopt and one day our child will be in our home. We are ready for that child to be here NOW, but in the mean time, we are learning what it means to trust God on a daily basis. We are involved in a Life Group (small group Bible Study) and we recently read through Acts. One of the biggest "lessons" I learned from Acts was that God called Paul to something and even though Paul faced many challenges in getting to where he was called--God was faithful and God blessed Paul as he made it to his destination. I took away that God called us to adoption...and although it isn't easy on a day to day basis, I know that God is being faithful to His promises to us but we must trust in the Lord. There have been days lately where I wish our baby was with us right now, but I am learning that that time isn't now for us. I fully believe in this waiting time that God wants to continue to grow us, stretch us and have us continue to lean on Him in ways we have never done before. What that looks like--I am not sure other than the emotional and financial aspects of adoption. I hope it doesn't mean that we will have to go through a failed adoption (one where the birthparents make an adoption plan, chooses us to parent the child, and either the day of the child's birth or before the birth parents' rights are terminated they choose to parent...which, is TOTALLY their right, but doesn't make it easy on adoptive parents that have had to go through this as I am assuming you become attached to the birth family and to the child), but if it does mean we go through a failed adoption in order to learn more of being dependant on God, then I will do it. I am willing to do whatever  God has called us to do and I don't want to wimp out or run the other way just because it isn't easy.

But as we go through this waiting to be chosen process, I've tried to keep myself busy, which usually leads me to buy things for the baby. I'll go to a consignment store usually and buy a couple onesies here or there for $.50-$1.00.We have also gotten out to do fun things. We went to the pumpkin patch for our second annual pumpkin patch time with our niece, Mark's oldest sister and her husband. We got lucky with the weather--it poured and hailed the whole way to the pumpkin patch and starting letting up when we arrived. By the time we took the pirate ship ride (they have that instead of a hay ride) it stopped raining and the sun was out for the rest of the time we were there. Here are a few pictures from that day:

So we will leave you for now--I hope to be more frequent in posting things on the blog...but we shall see as we enter the Holiday Season!

Weekend away!

After having the situation with the prospective birth family, I was having a hard time moving on. We had had a super busy summer as well and hadn't gotten the chance to spend a lot of time together. At the end of May, my mom broke her leg which required two surgeries and she needed a lot of help--and because I don't have a paying job (I'm a house wife and help out here and there as people need it) I was able to help my mom out. I believe most of June was spent being at the hospital with my mom or at my parent's house helping my mom. July was getting ready and having our successful garage sale--but that also meant we didn't get to go away for our anniversary. Last year we were lucky enough to spend almost a week at my grandparent's beach house that they own. We loved the fact that we got to get away and it was free!! So we were hoping to make it an annual thing. However, now that Mark has a newer job aka no vacation time (well, he started back in April) and we have a lot of adoption stuff--it just wasn't feasible to make it happen this year. But we still wanted to get away...So we decided to go to Seattle!!! He was able to just flex some of his time so we were able take off Friday morning and come back on Sunday without using any vacation--YES!! Here are some pictures of our trip :)

Here we are at Kerry Park
On the roof top of Hard Rock Cafe

We rode this bad boy!!

Here we are in our hotel room with the Space Needle behind us

We had a total blast! We got to meet up with some friends that are also adopting through Bethany for Friday night dinner, then Saturday and Sunday it was just us and our schedule. We got to go down to Pike Place and eat some delicous mac & cheese, wandered around City Target, ate dinner at Hard Rock Cafe, we rode The Great Wheel (it's a ferris wheel on a pier), took a 'Ride the Duck' tour, went to Kerry Park, went up the Space Needle at night, just hung out and enjoyed spending time with each other! It was such a blessing to get away and not talk about adopton. We refrained from uttering that word (other than on Friday night with our friends) until we were back on the road on Sunday. On Sunday we stopped by the outlet mall on the way home and bought a super cute onesie that says, "I Love Daddy" and can be used for either gender. It's the first onesie I was able to get that wasn't a specific gender and mentioned 'daddy'.

I was sad for the weekend to end and wish that I could spend more time with my man. He is a very hard worker at his jobso during the week we don't get to spend much time with each other and the weekends have been jam packed with other stuff...so times where it's just us and life isn't getting in our way are priceless and I treasure them.

The very next weekend (last weekend) we had a great Friday night with some of our good friends. We decided that we had another free Saturday since it was a long weekend and so we wanted to leave town again. This time it was to Cannon Beach!! I have a favorite pizza place--it's called Pizza a' Fetta...and it's delicious!!!!! We usually go there when we go to my grandparent's beach house-but we haven't made it to the beach house in a year, so I was missing my yummy pizza. We had joked about going to the beach just for the pizza...but after joking about it for over 9 months we made it a reality! Thankfully the weather cooperated with us so we went into Seaside and played at the arcades and miniture golf and then got to stick our feet into the ocean. We then drove over to Cannon Beach and ate pizza--then drove home. It was a fun date day. I am not sure how I got so lucky--a weekend get away and then a date day all within a week of each other?!?! Oh how my soul needed that!

My love tank is filled up and I feel refreshed! I am ready to tackle life with a new attitude. I am thankful for my husband to spoil me in such amazing ways!!!! So now we are back on track of just waiting for our time to become parents--whenever God sees it fit! :)

Adoption Update

We are alive and well! We have been staying busy this summer with house cleaning, yard work, nursery preparation and getting to spend time with our family and friends.

I am sure you guys are all interested in is our adoption progress! There isn't a whole lot to tell (sort of). We are coming up on being on the waiting list for 2 months. And let me tell you--it's been a LONG two months of waiting. I am learning the art of patience and learning the art of staying busy to keep my mind off of all the waiting. Thankfully we HAVE had our book shown to several prospective birth families so the waiting hasn't been for "nothing" but waiting is HARD!!! There was one prospective birth family that made it hard. We got a phone call from our social worker saying a woman (prospective birth mom) was in labor--and for a variety of reasons was thinking of adoption for this baby. She gave birth on a Wednesday. Her and her significant other had already named this baby--so we had a name, weight/height, all of the baby's stats, etc. I knew that we were at least one family of two that our profile books were being shown...but I let myself get attached. I got things ready--we washed clothes, packed a diaper bag and did all other things baby related. I tried hard not to let my heart hope that this could be it but at the same time I couldn't help it. It's a fine balance and I'm not sure I've learned it yet. Thursday came and went and we hadn't heard anything about the family or baby. Friday came and I emailed our social worker asking for an update. Our social worker let us know that the family would like more time with the baby and would like to think more on their options. I completely get that this is their baby and until the papers are signed (if ever) that it is their baby until that moment. However, I started to view this as our child--even though we weren't anywhere close to that moment. So we had one of the longest weekends ever!! I didn't sleep much or eat much as I just wanted to know either way. I wanted to know if these parents were going to choose to parent or choose a different path for their little baby that had a name that I knew. We waited all day on Monday as well and finally got word on Tuesday that the family decided to parent. I was C.R.U.S.H.E.D!! In my HEAD, I knew that it could go either way and that the birth family had every right to make that decision. In my HEART, I wanted this to be it. I wanted this baby to be ours. I still pray for this little baby and for her parents. I pray that God is with them as they enter a new phase of parenthood and that things are going well for them. But I didn't know it would be hard for me to let go of this little baby that I hadn't met, let alone seen a picture of. I just knew her name...and kept picturing what she looked like. I felt like I had "lost" her. So I gave myself a week to grieve this little life that wasn't going to be in our life and then needed to just move on. I know that we will be okay and that this baby wasn't meant to be ours. We are on a journey of a life time and this experience has helped us grow in our adoption journey and as a couple. We are stronger than we thought we were and know we can do the same situation again if it does happen again with another family.

We are looking forward to the future and cannot wait to hope, pray and be blessed with Baby Bretl--we know he or she is out there for us!! So please continue to pray along with us as we continue on this crazy journey of adoption :) I will be hopefully posting two more blog posts this week--one on our trip to Seattle and another one yet to be decided. :)

Garage Sale and Exciting News!

Hello All,


We had our garage sale last weekend, here are two pictures from Day #2 of our garage sale before we opened:

We had great success!! On Friday, it ended up just being Mark and I setting up and running the show until about 1:30 when my aunt (Kelly's aunt) showed up to help. It was very awesome that she could be there to help out--Thanks Aunt Kappy! We sold a LOT of items on Day #1 and could not believe how busy it was. Mark and I woke up at about 3:30 am on Friday morning to start setting up and at 8 am people started shopping our sale, even though we didn't start until 9 am. So we weren't quite all set up, but people shopped anyway. It is what it is...but that means I didn't get any pictures of the first day! My parent's (Kel's parents) came and helped put things back in the garage over night-so thank you Dad! It was nice having help putting things away!

Day #2 we got up at 3:30 am as well to start setting up, and then around 8:30 am we had a lot of help. Mark's dad, Kel's friend Paula, Shawn's girlfriend Allison and then Mark and I. Mark's dad and Mark set out the furniture in the morning as I've been recovering from a shoulder injury so that was awesome we had some extra muscles--and Paula, Allison and I got to help customers as the showed up. Saturday (Day #2) wasn't nearly as busy as Friday (Day #1) but it was still busy! We didn't have nearly as many big items as we did on the first day, but we had a successful day. We sold lots of items on both days but still have half a garage full of items that didn't sell--and so we plan on donating those items to people who need them :)

In other news, WE GOT APPROVED!! Our home study hit the hands of the supervisor I believe on Friday, and by Wednesday afternoon, our home study was approved!! We thought we had several weeks between when the home study was finished to when it got approved--but apparently it doesn't...so we are now on the waiting list! However, we haven't finished our profile books which is what we need in order for birth parents to find out who we are. We have been so busy between my mom breaking her leg (and taking care of her) and our garage sale that our profile books kind of took a back burner...but now they are front and center and need to get done ASAP. We have so many emotions going through our bodies right now--we are super excited that we are approved as it means that at any given time, we could become parents...but it's scary because at any given time we can become parents with little to no warning. This weekend we are going to buy a car seat so that we are at least prepared for that--and then from there slowly build are baby accessories as we find them on sale and as needed.

We would like to thank everyone who have prayed for us and walked with us as we got to this stage in adoption--there is no way we could have gotten here without walking beside us! We also would like to thank everyone who donated so many items for our garage sale!! You helped us get that much closer to being able to adopt!!

Prayer requests:

1)For our profile books to get done within the next day or so

2)For all birth parents out there that they may feel peace and love as they make decisions for their kiddos whether that's choosing to parent or choosing to place their child for adoption.

3) For us as we start getting birth parent profiles--that we will make wise choices that God has given us and that we don't rush into anything without feeling called by God. I know there are going to be some tough decisions as to whether we want our profile book shown or not. So wisdom in that area.

Thanks y'all!!

Our Garage Sale is Coming Up!

Hello all,

We are still waiting for our homestudy to be completed which then means the next step after it's completed is getting it sent up to Seattle for approval. We emailed our social worker today and she is about 75% done writing it up but truthfully, I'm getting impatient. We are coming up on July 4th which is the time frame of when we should have gotten our approval notice...but now our homestudy won't even be seen before the committee on July 4th. So it's hard to just wait! I'm ready to stop waiting and to have our little one in our arms :) But alas, we wait. Isaiah 40: 31 has been a good Bible verse for me to meditate on... "But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like angels; the will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

In other news we have our big garage sale coming up in a week and a half! Our garage is getting filled with donations by friends and family and we are able to sort through it this week and weekend. We are so thankful to all those that have donated! We are still taking donations as well to those that would like to donate. Please email, facebook, or call/text us as we'd love to take anything off your hands. THANK YOU!!

We will write another update after our garage sale. :) Enjoy the sunshine that is supposed to come in the next few days--I know Mark and I will :)

My mom

While my mom is in her surgery today, I thought I’d write a post “dedicated” to her. Not really dedicated per say, but more just about my mom and how much I appreciate her.

For those that don’t know, my mom fell while on vacation a couple of weeks ago and broke her leg pretty badly. I wish I would have taken a picture of the CT scan to show the world (if she’d let me)—it’s pretty crazy. The crazier part is that after she fell, my dad and my mom had gone to the ER to get it looked at (because apparently it was clear to them she had broken it) but the ER people told my mom that although it was broken, it wasn’t displaced and that she wouldn’t need surgery (more on this in just a moment). So when they got back from their trip, I took my mom to the orthopedist to get it casted (it was only in a splint) and the orthopedist took new x-rays along with looking at the x-rays that were taken during the ER trip. He gave her a funny look and asked her what she was told in the ER. She repeated that she wouldn’t need surgery since it wasn’t displaced. This orthopedist was nice and said, “In my professional opinion, I’d highly like to disagree with them,” and showed us the x-rays from the ER. In those x-rays you could see it was displaced. In the x-rays that were taken at the orthopedist’s office you could see that it was still displaced…so she was told she’d need surgery and was referred to Doctor #1. Doctor #1 had her get a CT scan before she came to see him and the CT scan revealed more than just plain x-rays had. From the CT, Doctor #1 was able to see that just a plain rod with plates and screws weren’t going to fix the issue…she was going to need an external fixture to stabilize it for about a week until the swelling went down and THEN they could put in plates and screws. Here is a picture of kind of what it looks like…although move the top part to the middle of her shin and the bottom part to her ankles...I just wanted to use something less graphic for those that have sensitive stomaches...so here is this pic of something like what she had:

SOURCE: www.meditechvisualaids.com/3d-animations/single-gallery/2746503

But, Doctor #1 doesn’t do external fixtures, so she was referred to Doctor #2. Doctor #2 is a foot/leg trauma specialist and he is REALLY good at what he does. So we were able to get in to see Doctor #2 and she had her first surgery on June 1 to put the external fixture on. That was a HARD day for me. I didn’t sleep much the two nights before the surgery, so the morning of the surgery I was emotionally and physically exhausted. My dad was stressed and nervous so I was also feeding off of his energy. Both of us were trying to hold it together while we spent the better half of the day waiting for my mom to go into surgery. (She was an “add on” to the schedule because she didn’t get to see Doctor #2 before the next day’s surgery schedule was put together so we had to wait to see if there was room in the day for the surgery).

At around 4 pm she was wheeled down to the pre-op room and we waited there for her to be taken back to surgery. The whole time I was choking back tears. I was trying to trust the hospital staff (surgeons, nurses, and everyone else involved in it). My biggest fear is losing my mom. I know that no one (personally) in my life that is like, “man, I really hope that my mom dies today,” but my mom and I have come a LONG way in the last few years to where I can call her my mom AND friend. Before she was just my mom…but going to college, getting married, and growing up has really changed my perspective on the relationship with my mom—also watching my mom with her mom as her mom was struggling with Alzheimer’s really changed me too. But now that Mark and I are in the process of adopting so that he can be a dad and I can be a mom—my mom means even more to me. I don’t want to go into motherhood without my mom rallying beside me. I couldn’t imagine my mom not being there when we bring home our little one and being there to teach me the ways of motherhood. So I think watching her get wheeled back into surgery was hard. I knew that everything was out of my hands and I just had to trust the staff and mostly, trust God that things would work the way they were supposed to work out-but I wanted them to work out in my favor…with my mom having a great surgery coming out to work on healing her leg, and to have her there for the future.

The week after her first surgery, I was at a function with a lot of extended family and family friends. One of my aunts had said, “You’ve gone from your mom’s enemy to best friend in a matter of years—it’s pretty crazy.” And I don’t know if she really knew the impact of the words she said in passing, but it was an interesting statement. I’ll readily admit that in middle school I really didn’t want to be my mom’s friend. She was the one that laid the rules down (along with my dad…but I’m focusing on my mom for now). I think it was more of a parent role that she played rather than a friend role—but that worked. I believe that you need to be a parent first to your kid, then a friend—but it shouldn’t be the other way around. In high school I had a great adult mentor in my life who was my friend and I didn’t see the need to share things with my parents in the way that I shared with my mentor. It worked—but if I could go back in time, I wish that the friendship I now have with my mom would have started way sooner. Now that I am an adult and married, my viewpoint has changed. My mom and I have a lot more in common and we share life together. All that to say is I cannot imagine (nor do I want to imagine) my life without my mom for a long time! I know one day that she will pass away…but I’m hoping that will be very far away…when she is at least 110 years and has great-great grandchildren!!! :)

While my mom has had the external ficture on her leg, she hasn’t really been able to do much—she can’t really. I go over every day to wash her hair and spend time with her. It’s been nice for her to have to stay home from work as I’ve been able to spend more than normal time with her. I’m sure she is ready to go back to work—however she has a few more weeks before that can happen, so I’ll soak up the extra time while I can get it. It has been fun that I get to join her to doctor appointments, hair appointments and just the moments I sit on the couch and hang out with her.

Today my mom is having her second surgery. She is getting the external fixture taken off and the plates and screws put in her leg. I wasn’t quite as nervous for this surgery as I was for the first only because we just went through this 1.5 weeks ago, but it’s still the underlying fear of losing my mom too early. It’s my MOM and I only have one of them and I’m protective of her…hear my ROAR! :)

I am so thankful that I have a great mom who works hard at what she does and has allowed me to become her friend. She is someone I can call when I’m upset or when something really happy happens and everything in between. Sometimes I’m sure I call her too much—but she takes it well.

That’s all for today…I just wanted to put it out there that I have a great mom and I’m thankful that I get to spend the rest of my life being friends with her :)

Interview #3 & #4

Sorry it's been a while since I've updated the blog! Both interview #3 and #4 came and went without much to them. The third interview our social worker came to our house for literally 15 minutes for us to sign a couple of forms... which kind of was sucky because I had the house clean head to toe for the second time at that point only for her to be at our kitchen table for 15 minutes...oh well, it was nice to have a clean house :) Then the 4th interview came and that was our final interview where C (our social worker) did a walk through of our house to make sure we had everything we needed for optimum safety in our house. There are a few things we'll eventually need to take care of (such as locking the cleaning products that are under the sinks)...but we currently have carbon monoxide dectors on every floor of the house as well as in the future nursery and in our bedroom. We also have 2 fire extinguishers and a fire escape ladder in the future nursery. We are as safety prepared as we can be and now just waiting for C to write up the home study. If everything goes according to plan, we will be on the waiting list on or before July 4!! It's so exciting knowing that we are almost done with this step and will just be waiting to be picked by expectant birth parents!!

We are working on our big garage sale July 13-15. Our hope is to raise $1,000 OR MORE during this garage sale that will go directly towards our adoption costs...so if any of you have items to donate, want to help out with the garage sale, or even come on those dates, we would love it! We need to get more items to sell in order to make getting $1,000 even possible. Ideally, we'd love to get 10% of our total adoption costs, so we would need to get $2,800...but I think we would be completely floored if we got $1,000 :) We'd love it if you partnered with us to reach our goal!

That's it for now. We are currently trying to figure out how to pay for our adoption so fundraisers, grants, and loans are currently being researched. We would love it if we could earn/get enough money without having to get a loan, but we will do it if that's what it comes down...since we are on our way of getting out of debt, it's hard to commit to going into more debt--but we will gladly do it if it means we get to have our little one home with us one day!

We hope that you are all having a great weekend!