The agency we are using is...

Hello All,

We PROMISE to get better about posting...since it has been a while since we've posted (again).

We were waiting to figure out what doors God was opening before we posted. The Lord decided to shut some doors that were very unexpected (and some of them heartbreaking) but we kept praying for the Lord's will to happen. So, after much, much, MUCH more prayer than I thought it would take, the agency we are going to use is Bethany Christian (www.bethany.org). We did the pre-application last night and tonight we finished (and submitted) the formal application. Once we are accepted from the formal application, our home study process will officially begin and we will also spend a full Saturday in January for training. We are SOOO excited!!

My sister in law is pregnant with their first baby--so it's been hard for me to see her growing belly that has a "time table" on it. Their baby will be here in June 2012. For us, we have no idea when we will have a child in our arms. It could be a day after our home study is approved, it could be 5 years after our home study is approved--it is all dependent on when we are chosen by a birth mother. It's taken us 11 weeks to find the agency that was right for us and the only way I remember that is because my sister in law announced she was pregnant to the family at 4 weeks and is now almost at 15 weeks. I am learning lots of lessons that comparing myself to anyone doesn't get me very far. This has been a conviction that God and I have been working on for many years-it's just interesting how these little things I thought I learned a long time ago still sneak up on me as something that I'm still learning :) But, we are also so excited for another niece or nephew to be added to the family coming June 2012!!!! I cannot wait to love on this new niece or nephew! :)

So there you have it-excitement, heartache and more excitement and the agency we are going with!!

Picking the agency

Sorry that it's been a while since we've updated our blog. We took a couple of weeks off from updating people where we were at--because we didn't even really know. The last few weeks have been filled with interviewing agencies, attending informational seminars, and we even went to an adoption fair where there were about 10 agencies and all day "classes" that covered small snipets of what will be covered in the agency's educational classes.

Before tonight, we picked three agencies that we really liked, all for different reasons. Our "perfect" agency would be if we could pick the great parts about them and combine them into one agency. Unfortunately, that agency doesn't exist...so we have had to take time to pray, think, talk and figure it out. After tonight, we are 99% sure which agency we are going to work with. We went to their informational meeting tonight and fell in love with them all over again. I (Kelly) think it was exactly what I needed this evening. We are planning on driving over to their agency next week and fill out an application...and once we've been accepted for that, we will announce which agency we plan on using :)

So there you have it-it's an update, but not too much of one.

Watching a 4 year old

This past Thursday night, Mark and I had the honor of watching my friend's daughter, Shelby. I knew Shelby when she was born (see the first picture), but then my friend, Kristin and Shelby moved out of state so she could work. After that, Mark and I moved out of state at about the same time that Kristin and Shelby moved back into state. So I didn't really get to KNOW Shelby until she was around 2 or so. I have always called her my little buddy. Now she is 4 and is truly the greatest kid ever (and cute too!!! See the second picture) For a while now, she has been asking to spend the night at our house and I kept putting it off. When I think of watching a kid during the night for the very first time of them being away from their parents, I think of screaming and crying THE WHOLE NIGHT. I think of a kid needing to sleep in my bed while kicking me basically out of bed. I think that it is going to be a nightmare. But in reality, all of my "fears" never came true. Shelby ROCKS! Kristin and I decided not to tell Shelby that she was spending the night at my house until it was almost time to leave for my house, or else that would be all we would hear all day long. So when it was time to leave her house to come to mine, she was super excited. We got to my house and she played hard with our dog, Bailey. She loves that dog and Bailey loves that girl :) I'm not sure who is more worn out--the dog or Shelby. And then we just played, watched 'Ice Age,' ate dinner, she took a bath and then for bed time, it was so easy. She is such a well behaved kid and knows how to put herself to sleep. It is so refreshing to see a kid who is only 4 years old, but just rocks!

I think watching Shelby was good for my soul. Ever since I was 5 years old, I have wanted to be a mom. I have grown up in a huge extended family on my dad's side and I am one of the older cousins in this line of many kids. So I have gotten to hold many babies and fight aunts and uncles to hold such babies. I have known in my heart of hearts that being a mom is just right for me, and I have felt called to be a stay at home mom. With the whole health stuff that has happened between Mark and I, we found out that having a biological child just wasn't possible, and it was a huge truth pill to swallow. It still is. But as I grieve that loss I also get SO excited about adoption. But when I think of adoption, I think of all the time it is going to take us from when we apply to getting placed with a child--and it kind of seems overwhelming. It's also overwhelming to think that once we get our home study approved, the very next day there is that possibility that we could be placed with a baby (however slim that chance may be). When a woman is pregnant, she typically has 9 months to prepare herself (and the husband/father has the same amount of time to prepare himself) to become parents. And parenthood seems to be this looming, crazy but awesome responsibility, but abstract. While taking care of Shelby, it helped me feel that parenthood wasn't impossible, but rather, do-able. I know that it is going to be hard (don't get me wrong there), but it seems like I can actually do it. That even though I have felt called to be a mom, I now feel completely ready to be a mom. I am sure that there will be moments when it feels like I can't do it--but I will always get to look back at this moment of watching Shelby, knowing that I was able to watch her for 16 hours, got her to sleep, no tears, no broken bones or blood, and back to her mom all in one piece and for her to ask when she can sleep over again.

:)

Adoption

Mark and I wanted to take the time to announce to the world that we are going to adopt! Through a series of health issues and conversations, we have decided and feel called that this is the way that we are going to add to our family. We have only gone to a couple of informational meetings with adoption agencies, but we plan to sit down and interview one of them in the next couple of weeks. We are VERY excited to see what God has in store for us during this new journey. We would appreciate all your prayers, thoughts, and also if you have any help or suggestions for us--we would welcome it. We cannot wait to share this new journey with our family and friends as we take a leap of faith into the world of adoption!!!!